Dad’s Best Man: Exploring Paternal Influence on Gifted Males

My first session after the keynote was about fathers’ influence on their gifted sons by Thomas P. Hébert, Ph.D. out of the University of South Carolina. You may be thinking, “You’re a woman, and you’re definitely NOT a dad! Why on earth did you attend this session?” Well, I’m a MOM of 3 sons with a husband who IS their DAD, plus I’m an administrator over a gifted program that is roughly 50% male, so… I thought I could learn something to share with my teachers and with parents in our school division! And, wow, I certainly did!

Dr. Hébert’s research centered (and now centers, for his current study) on the over-arching question, “What factors in father-son relationships influence the talent development of high-achieving males?” He did make it clear to the audience that his body of work was qualitative using a very small sample size (10 college-age male gifted students), so we cannot generalize from his research. However, the findings from his interviews revealed some very interesting themes that I have taken as food for thought:

• Father’s strong work ethic and self-sacrifice.
• Father as teacher of skills and life lessons.
• Father’s design and maintenance of father-son rituals (bonding time).
• Father’s quiet presence on the sidelines (whether sports or academic competitions).
• Father’s authenticity and comfort with himself (down-to-earth).
• Father’s respect for his son’s talents, decision-making, and developing independence (actually, there was a mutual respect and admiration between father and son).
• Father’s pride in his son.

Though Dr. Hébert told us not to generalize to our populations from his findings, he did give us a call to action to take note of these themes and see what we can learn from them. What I learned was that none of these themes really cost any money- they are mostly about showing up and supporting their sons (of course, sports and academic competitions could cost money and so could the bonding time if there was a trip involved with that or something). I also had several ponderings after seeing these themes: Would the same themes emerge with Moms and Sons? Dads and Daughters? Moms and Daughters? Can we really say YET if these themes influence talent development or are just CORRELATED with it? Really great food for thought!

All in all, I think it’s important for dads AND moms to be aware of these themes and consider them in how they show up for their children, whether they happen to be boys or girls. Doing these things are truly what I consider good parenting, anyway. What do you think about Dr. Hébert’s findings?